Lots of books

I try to encourage my student to read, but because it wasn’t a habit that they gain since early childhood, it was difficult to make it a habit as an adult. I think we need to pay attention to that habit. What we do most of the time is what tends to be the habit of our kids. I know, with all my activities, which need to read, we find it easier to watch TV. I’m not saying that the two can’t work well in a family.

The kids will imitate what we do, I try to read books as much as I can, and they will snuggle and try to read what I was reading. I gave then a book that is more suitable for them and then we can all read together. That usually works for me, well it works with mom so thanks for my mom….this is something that I do want to pass to my kids.

Oprah Show

We have Oprah Show in Indonesia around early 2006, I always heard about the remarkable lady but I don’t have cable so it is difficult to know her. When one of the TV station aired her show, I try to watch ever chance I can. Some of my post is a contribution based on her show, it is only natural that I gave credit to her and her crew. I love decorating with nate, talking about money issue, cooking with Rachel and my favorite is dr.Robin. She was the only that make me understand about myself and save me a lot of money to go to a psychology.

It took me awhile to understand that most of the time, when she is talking with the guess she often asks about their childhood and always able to find the root for most of our behaviors comes from the past. We need to find it out and face it, and then we can end the cycle and not pass it to our kids.

She is my finest inspiration, although the whole package it self was very helpful. I want Oprah to know it inspire me too.

Be wise with TV

My father work in TV for years, he is the art director for the first National TV in my country. My grandfather from my mother side was an actor in his days, so actually I have nothing against TV. It is critical to be wise about it, not just for the kids’ sake, but also for ours. Having many TV in each room, can generate more individuality and reducing communication among the people in the house. We certainly don’t want everyone doing their own thing and forgot to be close to one another.

I do try to watch what the kids watch, and just have a big laugh about their ideas and thought about things that they watch. Sometimes they have the silliest and weirdest ideas. I try not to get hooked on my own TV program that I liked that will make them feels that I’m not being fair. So, sometimes we watch what mom want and sometimes we watch what the boys want. We learn so much about concerning about other people and not being selfish.

Spending quality time

My husband is a game freak, well he is very attract with his computer, in the early days when we are still friends, he was the one that influence me to play computer games, although the only thing I like is playing sims.

I don’t want my kids to spend all their spare time on the computer, although he always support these desire. I grew with books, my mom used to take me to the library and just spend the whole day there, so yeah. I love books.

Reading to your kids at the early age not only its is a great way to communicate with them, but it also taught them to get used to words, making sentence and growing the passion for reading. I know most of my students a hooked on computer games, play station or other stuff like that. Reading actually will benefit them in the future, especially when they have to read a lot for school.

So…..begin young is important, plus it is fun.

Life around me

Now, I’m home and try to make all ends meet. The world goes around so fast. Sometimes it is difficult to keep up. I find myself at home all the time, after finish teaching I rush home, play with the kids, and have a quality time with my husband. I find it rather empty inside, all though it is filled with my little family, but I hardly find the time to be me. Little by little I lost my identity. I teach privately, so I don’t even have coworker. So yes……I do surround my live with just family.

The picture perfect that I wanted for me was already begun since I was a child. Taken adult responsibilities and taking care of my little sis and bro, grew anger inside and most of all…developing the idea that being me isn’t good enough. So I began feeling small inside and unworthy to be loved. Now, as an adult and a mom, the feelings sometimes still overwhelmed me. I find myself crying and just feel not good enough as a wife or a mom.

I know my previous post have such an energetic and powerful thought about it is ok to be imperfect, I just wanted to state that it is harder to say it then to constantly putting it in my head all the time.

Quality time for everyone

Being in a big family with 4 sibling (although some families are bigger then mine) I tent to think that there isn’t enough time for me as a kid. Both of my parent work full time-sometimes during the weekend. So, it was pretty lonely, and I taken the responsibilities to take care of my little bro and sis. That fact makes me even angry. There were a lot of angry in my childhood.

Of course as I get older I learn to forgive them, because now, I know how difficult it is juggling with work, home, husband and kids. I have to be a super mom. Not wanting to turn out to be my parents, luckily I teach privately now, so I don’t spent all day away from home, and I have more time with my kids. Sure, it takes away my dream of having a full independent as a career woman, but I learn to make peace with it. I guess I wanted to correct the time, although it is impossible.

It’s OK to be not perfect

I’m trying so hard to be a good girl, so my parents will spend time with me, and like listening my mind, of course that never happens. So, I have this feeling of I’m not good enough to love. Those thought I carried until I’m married, try to be the perfect mom and wife – in reality of course there is no such thing as perfect – because that is human.

I’m trying to encourage my kids to except their failure and encourage trying harder and what is more important. If they do something wrong, I try to make the punishment educative and not pressing their self confident. I also try not to try too hard on being perfect. So our family has a wonderful time making mistakes………..

Introduction of me

As the oldest child from 4 sibling, from a divorce parents, I find it difficult to understand myself, and as I got older I began to join seminar, and watch a lot of Oprah….it’s one of my healing process to finding myself. Actually my parents got their divorce 3 years ago, when I was 23 years old, but of course there’s no smoke without any fire. The problems already appear since I was young.

And what my parents don’t understand or what they fail to see is that I wasn’t busy in my little kid world, I do understand that there was something wrong and don’t like what I hear. This site is important to me as a crying place most of the time, but as 26 years old woman, who grew out of divorce family and have children of my own and how I deal with my own marriage. I wanted to share my experience as a child and how I implement those past experiences to my own kids. I also am hoping to hear lots of experience with other mom about those little angels that made our days.

My name is Yulie dhanianty, an English teacher in Jakarta, Indonesia, I have 2 kids and a loving husband. For years I deal with pain from my past from a broken-home background and do have to struggle with my self esteem and low confidence, and trust me this site along really improving it.

I find out that in psychology kind of way – how we are taught will affect our behavior-let say since I’m married there is a big chance I mess it up like my parents and pass the cycle to my own kids. I will write more article combine with expert opinion about it, hopefully I have a fun time doing this site and got valuable comment and input.